26: a new normal

A couple of weeks ago I had this great idea to write a post to reflect on that 26th year of existence I just completed but then, my birthday was actually still a couple of weeks away and then I went to Canada to celebrate with The Internet and now I’m sitting here and it seems all my great inspiration has gone to waste.

In a way, 26 has been even more of a blur than any previous year. Last November I started my first real grown up person job and a year later, I still can’t fathom that it’s been a whole year of me doing this; of me still liking going to work and learning new things every day.

26 has also been better for my mental and feels-y wellbeing. While I still missed Mom a whole lot, the feelings didn’t even come up during most of summer, possibly because I was extremely busy but maybe also because time does patch things up. It doesn’t make things right entirely but you get used to your new normal. It also helped immensely to have a steady routine again.

I feel a bit wary doing a year 26 recap as it is so close to the end of the year and it basically means doing a year 2014 in review post which feels kind of strange and isn’t supposed to be what this post was meant to be.

Part of why year 26 was so busy for me was the obvious of working but also traveling a whole bunch. I went to London twice, I met a whole bunch of friends from the Internet in various cities around the world and I can’t even fathom how I got so lucky.

Because lucky is how I feel about this year. Alternative titles for this post were also “a new hope” and “back on track” because that’s how it felt like to me. I will never be the carefree teenager who wanted to do cartwheels in the hallways at school but I feel that at least some light heartedness has returned. Most days, I feel happy about what I do with my life, about who I am.

I guess that’s what comes with growing up (and maybe depicting every little feeling and itching on this blog has also helped me in a big way). Back when I was barely starting out my twenties, Mom made fun of me because I told her I was getting wrinkles. It was true, when I looked in the mirror I could detect faint lines on my face that spoke of an ageing skin that is only going downhill from here. I still have faint lines but they don’t bother me. They didn’t bother me before, I was just making a statement about their existence and though she as my mother would understand.

A couple of years later, I now detect slight changes not only on my face even though for the most part, I still feel like I look the same as when I was graduating High School. I also start taking better care of myself. I think more about what I feed my body, about trying to sit up straight more often and similar things. As much as I like junk food, there are things that are too sweet for me and it makes me feel a little bit crazy.

Age is a funny thing. On the one hand I feel incredibly old when I think of now being more on the side of my late twenties than my early ones. I think about those my age who are already married, have kids and I remember how far away from that I am myself. But then I also just look at the number. 26 (or 27 now) is still very low in comparison to the number of years I will probably (hopefully) get to spend on this earth and I am astounded. I am the youngest at work, only by 11 months but still, it helps me remembering that little fact when I beat myself over the head for not being a person with the experience and expertise of someone who has done this job for a longer time.

This isn’t to say I feel inexperienced. In a way, I even feel as if I got a lifetime’s worth of experiences on my hand in some areas of life. All in just 26 short years on this earth.

So how do I steer this post around to make it less depressing and a bit lighter? Oh, I know, lets talk about hair. For the first time in 7 years, I cut my hair above shoulder length and I like it; in fact, I love it.

The last time I did this was just before I started uni and it seems so far away. So many things have happened in between. I grew up so much and yet here I am, excited about a 32 cm Lego R2D2 I’m giving myself for Christmas. (I didn’t even mention the Lego Ghostbuster Ecto 1 I just built tonight because I’m a perpetual child.)

Overall, 26 was great, I feel like I’m back and content with where I am at right now (for the most part). And I’m excited for 27.

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  • Tim

    Oh man…that second picture makes me chuckle. I can’t put my finger on why, however I think it’s because of the rather excited look you have on your face.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      It was the rather excited look about seeing my hair fall the way it usually does but it being shorter than it had been in 7 years.