The first of many Disney releases of 1999 is Doug. Now, I didn’t have a clue that they made the series into a movie. I wasn’t a die-hard fan of the show but I did watch it when it was on and I had nothing better to do. That is to say, my memories on everything Doug is kind of hazy but not non-existent.
The movie opens with a wide shot of all of the city and we slowly zoom in until we see a group of guys fishing by a lake. They are complaining about the cold when Mean Head Boy spots Doug and Skeeter and picks on them. Doug and Skeeter are out looking for a monster while Doug is also contemplating whether and how to invite Patti to the Valentine’s Dance.
The mean boys club leaves and we see a big bubble erupt from the lake. OMG IT’S THE MONSTER! Jk, or am I?! Muhahahah. Don’t worry, you will soon find out.
Doug and Skeeter have moved on to the forest where they leave their bikes behind and then split up. It’s like TV (or movie) law that something terrible has to happen now because why would you split up in the forest in the dark? WHYYYYY?
We see the Mean Boys Club preparing to prank Doug and Skeeter when Doug comes upon them. He is alone against four so naturally they hang all his clothes up high in the breeches of the trees. On the other side of that forest, Skeeter runs into the fake monster. The prank is cut short though when the real monster shows up and Skeeter manages to take a picture right before freaking out enough to run away.
Cut to Doug sitting in his room and writing in his journal. He voice overs us into the story. Doug has the hots for Patti Mayonnaise it’s adorable. He learns about the Valentine’s Dance being in trouble because not enough people have signed up to help so he decides to ask Patti to help along with him. Doug disappears into a military style daydream, lol.
At the sign up sheet, Guy, an upper classman appears and he wraps Patti around his fingers which makes Doug furious. Later at the mall, Beebe tells him that he saved the dance because Patti and Guy signed up to help. Ugh, stupid Guy. Not only is Guy a dumb name, he also got in the way of Patti and Doug, hmpf.
Skeeter got his photos developed and he has a picture of the monster *gasp* … somehow…I mean, it only is a picture of a monster foot. Anyway, Doug and Skeeter think this is enough to impress everyone, especially the girls these two boys have crushes on.
Doug imagines a super hero scene with a godzilla-like monster appearing and him saving the world. He is a lot like JD on Scrubs when he disappears into his daydreams and then comes back with a ridiculous line that only makes sense when you know what he dreamed about.
Cut to a gathering of all the town’s nerds and Mean Head Boy who wants a RoboCrusher built against the impeding monster attack.
Skeeter and Doug are about to get their bikes back from the forest where they left them earlier but they are gone. Instead there are tire track and wet monster footprints leaving the scene. Dun dun duuuunnn.
At Doug’s house, Patti calls to thank Doug for introducing her to the organising team idea. She is having such a great time with Guy and blah blah blah. Poor Doug, he wants to talk to her some more so they plan on meeting up.
Outside Doug notices the bikes being back but with monster footprints alongside. More Dun dun duuunnnn. The tracks are leading into the house and the kids go in to investigate. They are wearing trash cans as protective armour. They cause a minor electrical blackout on the street but don’t bother. Instead they make their way down into Skeeter’s room. Inside they look around but can’t find anything suspicious until the flashlight goes out and Doug runs upstairs to get another one. We see shadows moving in the dark and the monster *gasp* comes up behind Skeeter. At first he doesn’t realise it isn’t Doug but he soon panics and runs into walls. The monster, however, seems really nice and not mean at all.
The monster likes eating books so it gets Moby Dick out but Skeeter tells it not to eat Herman Melville but the monster thinks HM is his name.
Doug and Skeeter want to tell the mayor but they run into her husband instead who is into virtual reality glasses at the time and I don’t know what this has to do with anything. Anyway, they tell the mayor family about the monster and the lake that is polluted. All that stuff. The mayor wants real evidence so they show them the monster, wheeew. They all agree to keep things quiet because of Mr. Bluff who is the one polluting the lake that created the monster. He would otherwise find a way to spin this in his favour or let it not appear in the news at all. A press conference is supposed to be held the next day. I think it is the next day, details are a bit hazy here because I have my problems with how time moves here.
The monster is supposed to be hidden at Doug’s house but oh no, all this monster business means that Doug is late for his date with Patti. Womp, womp. He gets to Slushies but she is already gone, bummer.
The next day at school (?) he goes to apologise to her but of course he can’t tell anything about the monster and so this isn’t very satisfying to him. Instead Doug loses the picture of the monster foot which Guy finds. Ugh, stupid Guy. He goes to call Mr. Bluff because they are great buddies and all.
At Doug’s there is a big media frenzy until the mayor steps up explaining why they are there. Skeeter is supposed to tell his story and then they will reveal the monster only it turns out, the press conference isn’t actually shown live and this is all a joke. Doug therefore doesn’t reveal the monster which ruins all his chances with Patti who now thinks he is a big fat liar.
Doug then gets followed and watched on his way to school where he introduces the monster as a female exchange student. Patti is upset because she didn’t get a Valentine’s card from Doug and he is hanging out with Girl!HM so much.
Skeeter and Doug bring HM to the lake to hide him again but he won’t get inside. Instead he throws a red trunk into it which dissolves immediately showing how toxic the water is. Next the Bluffs capture the monster and Doug and Skeeter involve the police in trying to get it back but of course the police is no help.
Bluff has made plans on what to do with the monster since people are starting to get a bit suspicious.
Cut to Doug in his bed having nightmares. The next morning Doug has made a decision, he wants to talk to Guy but he isn’t in the newspaper room. Instead, the computer is on with an article for the upcoming paper on it that talks about the monster attacking the kids at the dance only the dance hasn’t happened yet. BOOM!
Together with the nerd twins, Doug and Skeeter come up with a plan to get HM from the dance venue into a clean lake and safety.
A-won’t you take me to, Funky Town?! Dance Venue. HM is in a big centrepiece shaped heart. Military guys are on standby to shoot him when he gets out. Doug and Skeeter learn of this and get him outside. The RoboCrasher (which I didn’t mention earlier again because the storyline was really dumb) serves as a distraction and the guys with guns think that it is the monster.
HM gets into the lake and is gone but Bluff is soon around and accuses Skeeter and Doug. He talks very badly to two teenage kids but he gets taken down by his daughter.
Later, with the help of HM who comes back for this, Doug apologises to Patti and all is well. They and Skeeter+Beebe dance under the stars and all is well that ends well with some finally voice over by Doug.
Eeeeehhh, well, this was not the cool, fun movie I expected. It was actually neither here note there in my opinion and didn’t much feel like a movie at all. I don’t really know what some of the parts of the movie were supposed to be besides filler scenes. Unlike with A Goofy Movie, where I was pleasantly surprised, Doug’s 1st Movie isn’t making the cut for me. It is all very predictable and boring.