If you don’t live completely off grid, you know that Saturday marked the day all of Europe came together to celebrate their musical atrocities in this years
gay musical olympics Eurovision Song Contest. It’s a magical time, let me tell you! After Emmelie de Forest won last years Contest for Denmark, we found ourselves in Copenhagen this year (sweet Copenhagen).
Again, I had a blast living on social media that night. We even had our own hashtag because we’re cool like that #snarkovision. This year, I did the whole thing, I even watched the semi finals and that was interesting, seeing as I knew almost every song by the time the finale came around.
Eurovision is not only about music, it’s the one night Europe gets together and forgets that we disagree on a whole bunch of issues, especially since our members range from countries like Norway and France to Belarus and Macedonia. Even Russia is part of the shinding which was interesting this year since the audiences did show their distaste for Russia’s politics regarding the Ukraine loudly. I felt a little bit bad that the Russian entry by the 17 year old twins got overshadowed with it, because they brought their finest Europop but that is also Eurovision.
One entry that made me really uncomfortable was Hungary’s as it was about child abuse and while it is honourable to try and shine a light on that subject, it is also hella weird to be singing along to a song about said topic because the melody is so catchy.
There were snooze fests, mostly the ballad section. Some countries should know better by now than to bring ballads, but alas. They are boring. Not so much The Netherlands though with the country song. Some say it was boring but I really liked it even though the whole thing looked like it was filmed through an instagram filter.
My favourite song of this year came from Iceland though. It was like the Wiggles came on stage again and their attempt at fighting prejudice was honourable and a lot of fun to watch. They clearly brought their A-game. Sadly, they didn’t end up all that high up in the results. I voted for you guys!!! It wasn’t my fault, I promise!
But don’t be afraid, next to ballads and The Wiggles, there were also horny butter maids from Poland. Oh god. That was terrible. Don’t misunderstand me, I like boobs as much as the next lesbian but the song was awful and the way they suggestively washed clothes and made butter on stage, nope, too much! Also, naming you song “We are Slavic” is kinda dumb. I mean, duh! you are. Not a big reveal.
The most important entry of Saturday night came from Austria though. There was a lot of controversy around Conchita Wurst prior because it’s a man dressed in drag with a beard. Belarus put up a petition to exclude her from the Contest but of course the EBU didn’t have any of that. The song sounded like a James Bong theme and was glorious. Girlfriend god pipes, yo!
She rightfully won this event and I cannot stress enough how proud I am that a lady with a beard won Eurovision! We really came a long way. And it wasn’t even that much of a close win, after half the votes were cast, it was evident that she was going to win. And she didn’t only get votes from the more western countries either.
Europe, on this day, my heart belongs to you. I could kiss all of you. This, of course, doesn’t mean that Europe is a sacred place for homosexuals and transsexuals but look at what just happened!! There is still a long way to go but it’s an impressive start. And who knew Austria had it in them to win this event? I know I didn’t!