The Brave Little Toaster is another one of those movies I have never even heard of and no clue as to what it is about aside from a toaster as the title suggests. This movie was released in 1987 and is thus as old as I am. Weird. So let’s dive right in, shall we? *offers arm for you to take because I can be a classy broad*
The title cards inform us that this movie is based on a novel by Thomas Disch. Not sure why I feel the need to mention this but okay. Anyway. As the credits play out, we see a cabin in the woods (#snarksquadcrossovershoutout) that gets more and more into focus. It looks very secluded on top of its hill. Then we move inside the house where a photo of a cute little boy is standing on the bedside table along with a radio that is broadcasting some stuff until we hear a voice complaining from somewhere. As it turns out, it’s a lamp because this is a normal thing for household appliances to do in the world of Disney.
They do some bickering and all the other appliances get out of their hiding spots to watch the bickering. There is also our little toaster *waves*
Together they debate what they shall do on this day because they don’t want to do any chores. I get this sentiment fully, chores are boring! Toaster decided they should do them anyway so the radio starts playing some funky tunes to make the cleaning less boring which is something I also do. (Today I listened to the Night Vale Podcast while gardening because I am hopelessly behind on that thing and the chance of me randomly starting to sing along is also rather small.)
Suddenly they stop because they hear a car coming. Apparently this is great news. They get to the highest window to get a glimpse at the road. As it turns out, there really is a car heading in their direction and Blankie, an electrical blanket that is super adorable, gets really excited because it has been so long since their Master, the boy from the bedside photo, has been there. Then the boy runs up to Blankie and it’s a great reunion that turns out to only being a dream as the car drives past the house. Womp, womp.
All the appliances are sad, Blankie cries like a baby. Then the vacuum tries to pry Master’s picture away from Blankie but it flies through the air and shatters. The A/C starts to put his two cents into the mix and provides some backstory.
Master hasn’t been home in years. Well, I didn’t expect that but okay. A/C is laughing at the others for being such fools to believe Master would be back. He seems to have some issues of his own since the boy never cared much for him and he gets mad and madder until he literally explodes with rage.
Then they hear another car and it even stops but they are all too disappointed to look. It is only a real estate guy putting up a ‘For Sale’ sign in the yard. Toaster suggests they go out looking for Master themselves but the only problem is how are they going to do this?
Btw, how are they running through the house without being connected to the electricity? This is weird.
Lamp comes up with a couple of different means of transportation but they all don’t work out. Whoops. In the end, they settle on sitting on a desk chair while Vacuum is pulling them. This only works as long as his cord is though which answers my earlier question. Apparently they are connected while not being plugged in, still weird. Anyway. So they have to come up with an alternative power source.
They find a conveniently left behind car battery that is also still charged and working after years of not being used. Okay, movie, whatever you say. Off they go. I can’t help but wonder how long they think they can last with this battery but okay.
Outside they all chime into their first obligatory song. I’m not sure what it is, but something about this movie screams 80s with every fibre of its being but I can’t explain what it is.
They find a clearing where they settle down for the night because that’s a thing appliances need to do?! IDK. I haven’t mentioned this yet but Vacuum is this old grumpy cat who reminds me a bit of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.
Blankie tries to find someone to snuggle with but the others are all unfriendly in that regard so it has to sadly cuddle with itself. I know how you feel, little electric blanket.
The next day they find a meadow with a lake and lots of animals that also have to sing their contractually obligated song. They all seem like they are on speed or something and it’s weird. Actually, this whole movie is really weird.
Next part of the journey (Don’t stop, believin, hold on to that feeeeeeling!!!) brings them into a dark forest and OMG where even was this cabin that it was so removed from any other places?? No wonder the Master hasn’t returned in forever!
In the middle of this deep, dark forest they naturally need to take a break because the battery is running low. I have no idea how resting will help in that regard but logic is not of any concern here, as we have a vacuum cleaner, powered by a decade old car battery pulling a desk chair with a lamp, toaster and heating blanket through the world. Maybe they are waiting for it to magically recharge, IDEGAF.
This time, Blankie gets to cuddle with Toaster and after it fell asleep, Lamp asks Toaster why she is so nice to Blankie suddenly. Idiot. Anyway, she says that it’s the decent thing to do.
During the night, Toaster has a Master related nightmare that turns out was also related to the epic thunderstorm going on.
Blankie gets blown away high up into the sky and NOOOOOOOOO! Also, the battery is completely dead now so Lamp does the only logical (NOT) thing and tries to recharge it through attracting lightning. LOLOLOL. Obviously he gets fried but it worked and they can travel onwards.
Next day (I just assume is is the next day) they are still looking for Blankie and finally find it sitting high up in a tree.
They are now next to some waterfalls, needing to pass over some steep gap so they all bond their cables together but Toaster doesn’t pay attention for one second and they all fall down, down, down into the river. This surely will have no effect on their electric wiring or anything but okay. I am way too picky, I know.
After the waterfall episode they are all slowly drowning after one another in the mud. Radio is the last to go and just before he is completely gone, some guy pulls it out and with it all the other appliances. He gets in his big car and drives to some sort of hardware store, I’m not sure but he is the owner.
Inside many more appliances await and they tell their sad tale. They get stripped for goods which apparently is terrible because appliances have feelings too. They also get to sing a song because that’s what they have to do in this movie.
When the shop owner prepares to hurt radio the others stage an intervention, scaring the guy and all the appliances break free.
Cut to a series of photos of the Master. The last one is from his high school graduation and we learn he is just packing for college right now. He also wants to get all his old appliances from the Cabin in the Woods because of reasons.
The appliances however finally made their way into the city and with the help of a phone book and super helpful traffic lights, find their way to Master’s door only he is gone for the cabin. Inside his new appliances are all acting jealous and ugh.
At the cabin, Master realises that all his stuff is gone. He swiftly repairs the broken A/C and leaves again.
Master’s house of jealous appliances. The new arrivals are reunited with their old buddy TV but the others are explaining why Master won’t need the old ones, explaining through song how awesome and up do date they are. Toaster & Co. end up being thrown out of the window into garbage can and the truck also conveniently just picks them up right then.
So of course when Master comes home he has no clue his stuff was there before and he tries to figure out where to get new!old stuff since his old!old stuff is not available anymore. TV tries to nudge, nudge, wink, wink him in the right direction to the junk yard the old!old ones were just transported to .
At the junk yard, the appliances fight hard to not get crushed in the compactor. In the end, Master finally makes his way to the junk yard and after lots of back and forths manages to be reunited with his old friends. Toaster gets his last epic brave moment to justify the title when it throws itself into the gear wheels to stop the compactor from crushing Master.
Well, this was a roller coaster ride of boring for me. I don’t know but this movie seemed even less logical than some others. My take away from this is, staying home gets you the same result but with lots an lots less trouble even though I’m sure this is not what the creators were going for.
The dialogue was really clunky at times and seemed more Teletubbies style than real good work. This whole thing is just so ridiculous. I can see where it could have become great but, at least for me, it failed spectacularly.