When I first saw the title of today’s movie I thought I had never even heard about it but when I saw the German title, I knew I was mistaken. The Rescuers is the one with Bernhard and Bianca, the mice detectives! Not that I’ve seen it before, but I have heard of it, which is something. The Rescuers was released in 1977 and now I will finally get started with the movie. *tap, tap* “Is this thing on?”
The movie starts with a shot of what looks like an old paddle wheel steamer they use on the Mississippi but it’s broken down and not very nice. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is the Bermuda Triangle but I guess, then there would be a lot more ships and planes lying around. We see a little girl throwing a bottle with a message into the water while sad music is playing about a girl who is lost at sea in case we hand’t gotten the memo yet.
After the title cards interlaced with the sad music of sadz we cut to the United Nations building in New York, New York. A man with a briefcase gets out of a fancy car and enters the building. In the building there are more of those fancy people with their briefcases. From all those fancy people’s briefcases, mice jump out, looking pretty much exactly like their humans because obviously! The mice all hurry to their own secret meeting. In the background we could hear announcements in various languages, one of them was German. I only mention this because the German was really good, like that of a native speaker because every time I hear what I supposed to be German in an American movie or TV show these days, I can’t understand it.
Anyway. At the UN meeting for mice, they discuss a distress message of someone they have recently gotten. My super human skills of detecting tell me we’re talking about the message from the little girl we saw earlier. They all sing a song about how they pledge allegiance to the flag or something similar. Outside the meeting chamber, a maintenance mouse is singing along. He clearly wants to be part of this. Then a cute female mouse struts by and HELL-OH, Missy! You can immediately tell this woman is classy and I am now also attracted to a mouse which is new to me. The things Disney does to me! Moving on.
Maintenance Mouse walks into the Chamber of Secrets to get the note that’s inside the bottle. It’s directed at an orphanage and basically calls for help. The note is signed Penny, so we know the girl’s name. Big parts of the message are unreadable due to water stains. Bianca (that’s the hot female mouse) volunteers for the mission. The leader of the meeting is a misogynist and tells her she can’t do this alone. Naturally all the Mice UN members volunteer because they have eyes. She instead opts for Maintenance Mouse whose name is Bernhard. (At this point I realised which movie this is, for those interested which are none, I know).
Later that night, Bernhard and Bianca are on their way to the orphanage, it’s raining and apparently the best route to take is through the zoo. Am I then only one who can smell an impeding romance between those two??? Yes? Okay then, moving on. I’m sure this route is not a good idea but they make it and start investigating in the orphanage, where they find a box with Penny’s name on it. Inside is the rest of her belongings. In the middle of the mouse Nancy Drewing, a cat makes an appearance. B&B are spooked but as it turns out the cat, Rufus, is a kind soul who tells the two mice all he knows about Penny.
Penny!Back. Penny is sitting on her bed, sadly clutching her teddy bear to her chest because it was adoption day but she was passed over for some other kid. She is understandably hurt and Rufus tries to cheer her up, saying there is a family for her out there somewhere. I SURE HOPE SO!
Back in the box of belongings, Rufus mentions a couple that owns a Pawn Shop in town. I somehow didn’t get the immediate connection but I’m sure there is one. Off to the Pawn Shop B&B go.
At the Pawn Show, Bernhard and Bianca just got in when a phone starts ringing. They go into hiding just when an ugly woman enters. Seriously, she is really not a looker. The conversation seems to be about the message Penny managed to sneak out. The woman, who’s name seems to be Medusa (LOLOLOL very fitting name) tells the person at the other end that she’ll be in Devil’s Bayou asap because how hard can it be looking after a child who is supposed to find a diamond. I’m a bit confused, but okay. Medusa hastily packs some clothes and storms off. She clearly has no packing skills, just like she has no driving skills. B&B are in the suitcase but it gets thrown out of the car during some very enthusiastic turn and they have to get to the Bayou on their own. Womp, womp.
At the airport, Bernhard offers to carry Bianca’s bad because he is a true gentleman. They are about to fly with an albatross which I find hilarious. Of course they do! Said albatross is not the youngest fella out there and Bernhard keeps suggesting they should take the train instead. Bianca is all for the adventure though and off they go, flying through the streets of New York, New York. Bianca clearly is a woman after my own heart (I’m sorry, I’m trying to stop crushing on a mouse, I promise!)
During the flight, a rather romantic song is playing, Bianca falls asleep on Bernhard’s shoulder and he reluctantly puts his arm around her. AWWWWW, this is adorable! You go, Bernhard!
Cut o Penny on the Murder Boat of Diamond Stealing. The little girl tries to make a run for it but Medusa let’s her alligators free to catch the girl. This is very brutal.
Love Flight, the mice land rather abruptly but immediately run into some locals, which is good for getting all he latest gossip.
After some back and forth in the bayou, the alligators have found Penny. Damn, you stupid walking handbags! At least B&B were there to witness this so they know what to do next. The locals also inform them that the girl has tried to run away multiple times but never gets very far.
Back at the Murder Boat I suddenly realise that Disney really likes their female villains and I wonder why that is. Maleficent, the one in 101 Dalmatians…I’m not sure if I should be glad or angry about this, though I’m leaning more towards anger. Anyway, Penny and Medusa are back in da house as are B&B. The alligators smell Bianca’s perfume and a fight ensues. Thankfully, they don’t catch the mouse duo, that would have ended the movie early. Medusa sees Bernhard and throws a tantrum, she and her assistant try to shoot the mice but have no luck.
In the bayou, B&B are a bit disappointed and unsure of how to continue. “What can two little mid do”, Bernhard asks. This is deep. I mean, regardless of us being mice or human, what can one individual really do to bring meaningful change into the world? Being a lonesome fighter, or two in this case, is not much.
Cut to Penny getting ready for bed, she gets ordered to Medusa’s room. Medusa is a bitch to Penny, telling her she must find the diamond. I still don’t know what diamond and why they need Penny for this. Probably because she is some forgotten orphan but it still seems like a lot of trouble to me.
Back in her room, Penny prays like the good little girl she is. Her prayers are answered on the form of Bernhard and Bianca, together they cook up a plan to finally get away from the Murder Boat and Medusa.
In the cave of I-Don’t-Know-How-We-Got-There, the trio finally find the much talked about diamond but actually getting it seems rather tricky since it’s locked inside the head of a skeleton. The tide is very intense in this part of the cave which doesn’t make much sense in my opinion since the bayou is usually pretty unmoving, or at least that’s what I gathered from seeing it in various movies. However, after much struggles, Penny gets the diamond and Medusa gets her and the diamond out of the cave.
Medusa tries to run away so she won’t have to cut the profits with her assistant but B&B are around to prevent that. Together with the locals (one of them is an owl, so obligatory Owl Shot) they make sure, Medusa can’t keep Penny from finally running away.
Back in New York, New York, we are gathered in the Mice United Nations Chamber of Secret Meetings, watching a TV segment about Penny. She was finally adopted and tell the reporter how a mice coupe helped her find the diamond that is now safe at the Smithsonian. The reporter thinks the girl is crazy but we of course, know she isn’t. For Bernhard and Bianca, who DO seem to be a couple at this point, a new adventure awaits.
Now this was a really cute movie that I enjoyed a lot, but I’ve always been a sucker for a detective story so I was predisposed to like this one. I would definitely watch it again.