Sometimes it’s funny how inspiration for a post strikes you. Today it was a comment from a bloggy friend on another bloggy friend’s blog post. (Idk why I didn’t use names but anyway.) It’s a thing I love about the blogging world, you read something that inspires a thing inside you.
For some reason, feelings and things are better processed in the dark. I’m not entirely sure why that is the case but it is for me and apparently, it’s the case for Tim as well. My preferred time of falling apart and dealing with those emotions you really don’t want to deal with, is when it’s dark. There’s an added bonus if I can look straight up into the sky while doing so.
(When I say dark I mean not pitch black because that is scary dark in which I lose all orientation. That’s also the reason I could never sleep in a room without light and I don’t mind the street lamp that’s basically right outside my bedroom window.)
This could be because in darkness all other senses and stimuli are not needed and I can give my insides all the attention they desire. Or maybe it’s because my shameful falling apart is not as visible in the dark, or at least I can pretend it isn’t. Of course this is ridiculous because (a) falling apart is normal, it happens to all of us sometime or another and (b) there is usually no one to see my regardless of the lighting settings. But still, the cloak of darkness offers a feeling of security to me that I gladly take.
Sometimes, when I know I’m having a bad day, I’m trying to keep it together long enough to make it home and for it to be dark. I’ve been sitting here, staring at my screen for a couple of minutes trying to come up with an explanation for this but the truth is, I don’t have one. It’s just something I have experienced for many years and that I put here as a sort of inventory post. Hey, remember, you realised this; for when I come back to this at a later time, if I ever do so.