“Time flies like and arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
I have loved this saying since I first saw it on the clock in Matt’s office in Studio 60. Time is going so fast these days, it’s incredible. There usually aren’t enough hours in the day for me to get everything that I need to and want to get done, done. Especially not with working full time and being at theatre rehearsals twice a week. I can’t even think of how it will be once we start with the three rehearsals per week. Don’t get me wrong, I love having steady employment and like my job and most things that come with it but it’s February already and I can’t help but ask myself, where the time has gone. Sure New Years was just the other day and now the month has already passed.
There are things I wish I could do more of, like read, watch more shows or even better, finally rewatch those I have wanted to rewatch for half a year now. I haven’t even found the time to start editing my NaNoWriMo novel just yet even though I promised myself I’d do so. I still want to, and maybe February will prove to be better for me in that regard.
Part of me attributes this feeling of time flying to getting older and not only to being this busy. Time seems to move progressively faster with every ring that gets added around my spine. I still remember being in primary school where the weekend would start at 11 am or 12 pm on Fridays. These days it starts t 3 pm on Fridays which isn’t bad at all but there is still much more to do after I get home than it was back in my mostly carefree days as a primary school student.
However, being busy is also a good feeling, I enjoy knowing why I get up in the morning and having a set time for everyday helps this rhythm oriented person very much, thank you. I like my routine and am pretty dependent on it. It’s important for me to know beforehand (and at best a couple of days in advance) what I’ll be doing on Wednesday or Saturday or really any day of the week before it actually happens. Don’t ask me to go out on the same day that you ask unless it’s drinking tea and playing board games or watching TV, I can deal with that but everything else needs more preparation time on my part. And don’t ask me to go anywhere after 10 pm because that’ll screw up my routine royally.
So what I am complaining about is basically non-existent and completely made up in my head, like so many things. When I was unemployed, I didn’t get much more done than I do today. I slept more (but not necessarily better) but didn’t read more or watched all that I wanted to watch. As always, it boils down to this, I want what I can’t have at the moment. There is no real moral to this story, just me documenting and taking a little inventory of my life at this exact moment in time because sometimes, that’s all one can and should do. Assess where one is in this life. And you know what, here I am being a busy bee, but a happy one. It seems, I have found myself over the last year and that’s more than I could have hoped for. This blog has played a significant role in that because without writing about my struggles and all the other crap I publish here, I wouldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t be talking with a whole bunch of my friends on Twitter every day. Time may seem to move fast for me right now (even though it always moves at the same speed – 60 seconds to a minute, 60 minutes to an hour and 24 hours in a day) but I’m okay with that. It means I’m moving and moving is always better than standing still.