I should preface this post with I know how lucky I am that I still have a family or parts of one. I know that. Trust me, I do. However Christmas time is upon us again and that means family fun times of every variety, mostly it means stress though. Last week I asked my uncle if there was anything my cousin would like for his birthday on the 13th. He said, he would look into it and promised to let me know. On sunday I called again because I hadn’t heard anything back yet and with Christmas being this close, parcels take longer and so on. He said, yes, he has asked my cousin and blah but didn’t know the exact title of the CD but he would get back to me. Like hell he would! So I took matters into my own hands this morning and asked my cousin for the name of said DJ CD. Haven’t gotten an answer yet. Well screw him, if his present will be late, it’s not because my lack of trying!
Then I had a great idea of what to give both my cousins for Christmas so I sent my aunt a text asking if board games are still a thing these kids of hers enjoy playing. Unfortunately I send the text to the wrong number because she had just changed it, whoops my bad. But instead of a reply I got a text from an unknown number which is exactly the same as my aunt’s new number except for the last digit. Said text informed me of the owner having a new number, without a name or anything. Now I’m confused. In the car on my way home from work aunt called me but I couldn’t take the call. 3 minutes later I tried calling her back but her line was busy. UGH! Why is this so freaking difficult and why don’t they just all have whatsapp so I won’t have to call anybody?
This is only the tip of the messy stressful family stuff iceberg. Then there is also a discussion about what food we will have over the holidays because nothing is ever easy in this family. Nothing! Now I remember why I dislike Christmas so much, and did for a big part of my teenage years because this is not an exception but the rule. I loved Christmas in Sweden and only coming home for the holidays, that was nice but all of this crap? I could do without.
Last year, Grandma and I drove to their house so my uncle was trying to get us there this year again but I honestly didn’t want to. 2 years in a row is too much for me, honestly. It’s really boring, their internet is extremely slow and I have almost nothing to talk to my cousins about. My uncle makes fun of me having a Macbook and iPhone every time we meet which drives me bonkers and is completely unnecessary. Plus Grandma didn’t want to go either.
Can you tell how much I am looking forward to the upcoming holidays? I thought so. I am thankful though for being able to go home after opening the presents and eating and the family time. I’m also pretty sure I will spend some time with bestfriendboy and maybe even his family because they feel like more of a family to me than my own which sounds crazy.
Part of me gets really sad because I know Grandma will not be there for many more Christmases in the future. She is my rock and like my second parent. Of course she drives me mad sometimes with wanting to change my entire wardrobe and similar things but in general we’re all each other have since uncle and his family are far away in everyday life.
So far, Christmas mood hasn’t gotten a hold of me yet, which I blame on life right now. I have crazy dreams of what I want my future to look like and know at the same time that it will never be like that. I am making my peace with that.
This must have been a truly boring post for anyone not stuck in my head but I needed to vent so I came here to my little corner of the interwebs where everything is nice and people like me. Maybe you’re all just robots though, what do I know. At least you’re friendly robots, that’s something ;-)
Here’s to hoping I’ll get into the holiday spirit soon and can forget about all this crap. Happy monday folks!