what a terrible plot

The other day I was watching the movie Safe Haven which is an adaption of a book by Nicholas Sparks. You could say this rage I am currently having in me is my own fault as I chose to watch this movie in the first place. One should think a girl learns after one terrible movie. But The Lucky One doesn’t even come close to the awfulness of Save Haven. If you are by some reason a Nicholas Sparks fan and ended up on this blog, I am sorry if I’m offending you but this is my personal opinion. Also, beware of spoilers if there is someone who actually wants to watch this shit after reading this post.

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Okay, so Safe Haven is about a woman on the run who ends up in this beautiful costal town somewhere between Boston and Atlanta. She falls in love with one of the locals but is nation wide searched for by the police because she seems to be a suspect in a murder investigation. Spoiler alert, she is not. She is instead married to an alcoholic and abusive husband who happens to be a detective with Boston PD. One day everything becomes too much so she runs away, assumes a new identity, the whole ordeal. The man she falls in love with at the coast has two kids and his wife died of cancer a while back. She moves into a lonely place in the woods where she seems to have a neighbour, a lovely woman played by Colbie Smulders from HIMYM. As it turns out, that woman is the ghost of the man’s dead wife. Also asshole detective finds the main character, tries to kill her, blah blah blah.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

First off, I liked it better when at first it seemed that the woman had killed someone in self defence as the movie was trying to make you think that’s what she did. But no, the reveal is pretty anticlimactic. Nothing was as groan-worthy as the reveal that her friendly new neighbour was actually the ghost of her new boo’s dead wife though. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!! These story lines are so bullocks and stupid and boring and gahhhh. I can’t believe this was a best selling novel.

So, I haven’t read any Nicholas Sparks books but based on the two movies if his I saw I’m sure I’m better off this way. I understand that terrible writers sometimes get published and they sometimes turn out to be successful bastards but good lord. I can’t judge his narrative but just the plot alone is stupid and has been done to death. Here I am sitting in the beginning stages of writing my own novel and I’m worried about things being too cliche or stereotypical, too boring, too simple, simply too everything. And I am asking myself, why am I worrying so much? People like Sparks, Stepehnie Meyer (who’s parents couldn’t even write a name the right way) and E.L. James publish terrible books and they turn into best sellers.

I DON’T GET IT!!!!

It’s important to tell the stories of spouses of abusive partners because it happens every day, your neighbour could be physically and mentally abused by their partner without you knowing. Telling these stories is important but please do it right and not in such a bullshit way.

Also, the cast of these movies could not be less diverse, they are all white middle class heterosexual people. These people do exist, yes, but there are also others out there, just think about it for a while.

This is not the most coherent thing I’ve written and I should get back to my own novel but the rage, oh the rage needed a place to go and Twitter’s 140 character limit wasn’t enough.

Note to myself, don’t stress this story idea you’re working on too much, you could always right stupidly lame stories and still get published.

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  • Tim

    Spoiler: Nothing good ever comes out of a Nicolas Sparks movie.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      SO I’VE LEARNED!!! The hard way!

  • cupitonians

    Thank you so much for the warning. Now I know what to stay away from.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      You’re welcome. It’s enough if one of us suffers through this.

  • Return to the ’80s (Paul)

    I’ve never read a Nicholas Sparks book, and never plan to. I did see The Notebook, and some other one where somebody was in the army or something. Disgusting! There’s just something I can’t put my finger on. I think it’s that I hate movies or books that try to manipulate your emotions instead of just telling a story.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      The other one was probably The Lucky One. Ugh, like you said, there is just something about these stories that doesn’t sit right with me.