marriage proposals

The other day I stumbled upon this video on Youtube, it is by far not the only one in the department of elaborate marriage proposals but it is the latest I’ve watched.

While this made me smile, melt my stony heart, aww and all the things you do when you see someone propose to the love of their life, videos like this also make me uncomfortable. But why, you might ask. Isn’t this so romantic and beautiful and every woman’s dream?

Heck, I don’t know, I can only talk for myself here and elaborate very public marriage proposals are not my cup of tea. It is a terrific thing when one person ask another person to marry them, I am all for it but in the process of proposing, you make yourself vulnerable, and being vulnerable in front of a lot of people is a thing I tend to avoid.

Things like this show a lot of effort and that is probably a good sign. It shows the person actually cares and has thought about this step enough to put in so much work. Sure, you’re right there but in such a moment, I’d rather have something real than a rehearsed speech. Not saying that the proposer wouldn’t rehearse his or her proposal when it is not done in such a way but it feels more raw and honest to me.

This year, the theatre I spend most of my time at helped a guy (not one of us) propose to his girlfriend on stage. While everyone was all doe-eyed and happy about it, I cringed while listening to him (I couldn’t see a thing because everyone was trying to get a look at it from the side stage). It was just so cheesy and over the top that I couldn’t like it. Why go through so much trouble? Isn’t asking the question special enough? Why does it need to be veiled in this over-romantisised crap?

Naturally there are people who like this sort of things and to those I say, good for you, whatever floats you boat, do your thing but that isn’t me. Should I ever be in the market for getting proposed to, I want a simple and honest proposal, maybe while watching a sunset alone with my significant other. Don’t turn it into some kind of show, be real with me. I want you stumbling over your words. And to future significant other, should I ever be in the market of proposing, this is a glimpse of what to expect, I hope you’re okay with it.

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  • Tim

    I love the idea of doing an elaborate proposal. What I don’t like is the involvement I’d have to get from other people to make most of it work in a manner that lives up to the grandeur I could make up with a proposal in my mind. The girlfriend has already made it very clear that there must be a cameraman there to take pictures when I propose, and I’m not sure how I’d manage to keep that secret, let alone the involvement level that goes into a larger proposal.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      Oh yes, the whole keeping this big thing a secret would kill me. I am so bad at keeping secrets. Just let me know when I can watch your proposal on the internet because I’d love to see what you came up with to charm the ring onto the girlfriend ;)

      • Tim

        I fully intend not to video tape it. Pictures hold words better than videos, in that they don’t show when I stumble over my own words.

        • Wilhelmina Upton

          Haha, yes that’s true.

  • Heather

    This happened in Salt Lake City, Utah. 70 miles from me. I thought it was awesome. It made me cry.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      I didn’t realise this happened so close to you. Oh, it melt my heart as well, it’s just nothing I would like to have done to myself ;)

  • Melbourne on my Mind

    When I went to the ice hockey back in July, there was a guy who proposed to his girlfriend on the ice. There was this whole elaborately set up thing in which the arena pretended that there was a competition and certain seat numbers had to go out onto the ice for a chance to win something, and then they made the girl look at the score board, and it was a proposal.

    And it was literally the most awkward thing ever because she didn’t answer for about two minutes and he nearly fell over on the ice.

    So I kind of think they’re a nice idea. But at the same time, it seems like a dick move designed to pressure the person into saying yes…

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      That last part, yes, so much yes.

  • cupitonians

    The thing is that women like elaborate romantic proposals because that’s what the movies tell us is a true sign of real love. Of course it’s lovely and a tear-jerker but I would imagine a more intimate proposal is less daunting and more romantic? Some would say people who speak like me are whining about sour grapes. Ah well!

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      I’m right there with you. In every show or movie there is always this super romantic proposal and it’s elaborate and everything but just because it’s such a big gesture doesn’t mean it’s more honest or worthy of your ‘yes’ than a small, more intimate one.

  • Delightfully Awkward Brittany

    Agreed. I do understand & kind of like the idea of having someone photograph it- but even then, I’d want them further away so the words are just between us. My hubby did proposed at a special place, but it was just us. A big display would have been super awkward, since i hate being in any kind of spotlight.

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      Aww your proposal was probably really beautiful then, and yes, it’s tempting to have someone there, documenting the thing but at the same time it’s just really awkward to do this in front of someone else.