I am officially done with my degree in industrial engineering now even though I will stay enrolled until the end of term for insurance and pension reasons. Alas, this means I will have to find a job but I still have no idea what I want to do. Sure, I’d love to work for ESA the European Space Agency but that sounds highly unlikely. I would also love to write a book (lol, I know) or get paid for watching TV but those are all not very realistic scenarios.
My options are not limitless or better so, I am limiting myself by region. This is something I never thought I would do but things have changed and I have to adapt. I have a house to think of. Of course I could rent it out but that would mean cleaning it out first, and it is full of mine and Mom’s entire life. I have more stuff that I care to have but that doesn’t mean I can easily get rid of these things either. Also, getting a decent tenant is not the easiest thing these days. You can get lucky, sure, but you can also end up with hoarders that more or less destroy your beautiful house. I am just not ready for that. I am not. I cannot pack my things and move on from here, I wish I could but it’s not just the house, it’s other things as well. There is my Grandma and the theatre that I love being a part of and don’t completely want to give up.
And honestly, at this point, I don’t care about going out into the world. I know I should. I am young, this is the time to do it, yada yada yada. I just don’t feel it, okay?! I want to go on long holidays like last year, maybe own a summerhouse by some gorgeous lake in southern Sweden but I don’t need to flee this country right now. No matter where you live, it’s never perfect so I’ll stay here for a while. Where I know what to expect and am integrated into the community.
Last month I met with my godmother, she lives in Berlin with her husband and our little city naturally was too small for them. Of course it was. Of course. I get it, you live in the capital, that’s awesome, I like the city very much but I don’t feel too limited where I am just now, thank you. Frankfurt and Cologne are not that far away and until American Eagle opens a store anywhere in Germany, it doesn’t really matter where I am as I found Marshmallow fluff in the grocery store. What more could I possibly want? – Ahoi chewy chocolate chip cookies, thanks for asking.
Despite my high flying dreams of what I would like to do, I will try and downsize it a lot, go for a big local company and see if they will hire me. There I can get a start, see if I am really as terrible at anything else aside from TV watching or not. Maybe I will even find something that makes me almost happy and I can deal with my emotional and stuffy baggage then. This sounds reasonably which means I will have to learn how to write applications and do job interviews now. After all, this is the first time in my life I am out of the educational system and without a specific plan for the future.