Do you ever stop blogging for a certain reason and then it takes you forever to pick the habit back up? You say: One more day, which turns into a week and whatnot. Yeah that’s me *waves* I’ll have to ease back into this, I guess.
I survived the epic horror that was writing my thesis for the last couple of weeks and I handed it in last Friday, yay!! I am just so happy that it’s over, I cannot tell you. Now, I have free time again to watch TV and blog and read and do all the stuff I like to do. Yeah, I know, looking for a job should be a priority right now, but I don’t know what I want, except that I want a little bit more time to procrastinate. It’s silly and stupid and of course my Uncle couldn’t refrain himself from asking me what’s next when he and his family visited last weekend.
His inquiring made me mad. Irrationally so but still mad. He had a job after he got his PhD and that is all fine and good but I am not him. I take time to make phone calls because I dislike talking to strangers on the phone. And I happen to not have a clue what kind of job my university education should gain me. I don’t feel at home in the business part of a company but I feel like I don’t know enough about engineering either. And there is nothing I desperately want to be.
However my slackerdom also makes me question my motives. Is there maybe a part in me that I inherited from my do-no-good father? I am afraid of just that because I really don’t need any of his traits in me. And it really only has been one week since I handed in my thesis. That’s not too bad, I guess. I had to catch up on lots of sleep and I am doing some traveling as well now that I am done. Next week, yeah next week sounds like a good one to start thinking about my future.
Tonight I meet with my Mom’s bestfriend from the age they were 5 or 6 and she’s also my godmother. We haven’t seen each other in over a year and not talked much either, especially since Mom died. I’m already anticipating ALL THE QUESTION. And I don’t have answers. Not having answers makes me feel like an idiot. So here I am stuck between idiocy and procrastination. I promise the next posts will be better. This is just me trying to overcome my hiatus.