Today I walked past a girl I know from track during high school. I knew she was pregnant only I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes yet, so when I recognized her, my stare immediately went to her belly and there it was. Proof of what I heard. She must be married too because those religious people don’t do babies without marriage first.
She is not the first one of my classmates to be married or have children but I can never stop and wonder how did they get there? How are they so together, so grown-up that marriage seemed like a good idea?
There’s been a boy in my class who moved to Australia after graduation because he met a girl on MySpace and after e-mailing and chatting online he proposed to her the first time they actually met. They got married quite fast and now their second baby is on its way. I mean, it’s only been five years since graduation.
Then I was at a wedding this year of a girl I went to primary school with. One of the bridesmaids was a girl I was in kindergarten with who is going to marry soon as well.
Is this normal?
One of my close friends is already planning a wedding in her head, even though the guy in question didn’t ask her yet. And to be honest, I’d rather he didn’t because his family treats her like crap. He doesn’t even try to defend her or be on her side and I think it’s wrong. They’ve been together for five years, maybe a little bit more, and he still doesn’t stand up to his folks. Sometimes I believe they’re just together because she’s rather in a crappy relationship than none at all. This is not how it should be. I think she deserves better but she doesn’t see it.
It feels like every time I turn around and see people from the past again that they are so grown-up and I wonder where it came from. So many of them getting married, starting families. Ok, most of my above mentioned examples are rather religious so they have it in them to marry early but still.
Am I the only child in a grown woman’s body that is left? It sure feels like this sometimes. I can’t imagine getting married right now or anytime soon although I always wanted to be a mother before I hit 30. That’s probably not gonna happen though. There’s too much other stuff that has to be resolved first.
I haven’t counted the catholic girl from my math and physics classes because she accidentally got pregnant sometime after graduation. I think you should know better by 20 than to not use any form of birth control but at least she didn’t marry. She wasn’t even with the baby-daddy anymore when she gave birth to her little daughter.
Are those people all really as grown-up and sure of what they’re doing as they pretend to be? Or are they just better at pretending. Do you ever really grow up? And how do you know when it happens?
I look at them and think, wow, they’re the same age as you but they’re in totally different places in their lives. I can’t even manage to finish my project and get a spot for my thesis at the moment. I have no idea what I’ll be doing after I graduate from university. It’s probably a good thing then, that I don’t have to take care of a life partner and children but it still nags at my subconscious.
Those people are so far ahead on their life paths or so it seems at least from my perspective. More and more friends on Facebook post pictures of their weddings. Some of them actually make me vomit in my mouth a bit, especially when the pictures are of poor artistic quality.
I saw one today, I didn’t even know what it was supposed to express but I’m happy I don’t have it on my profile. They’re like hugging a crocked tree and I think they were trying to show their wedding rings because bride and groom have posed their hands very awkwardly on the tree. It looks so strange, I wish I could share it with you but of course I can’t.
Ok, so thinking of these odd wedding photos makes me feel a bit better. Also my lime cake should have cooled down by now so I’ll dive in there head first and see how long it lasts.