There’s not much happening right now except that I am tired even though it’s only 4pm. I blame the weather because it’s been raining for a while now and the grey in grey mix of not really bright days is getting a little bit to me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better because I have two performances and it really sucks when you have to play in the rain. The forecast says it will be dry but I’ve been burnt before, I don’t trust the forecasts blindly. One never should!
Other than that, it’s only 13 days until I will see my friend family from Sweden again. They are doing this amazing thing of visiting me only to see me act in Peter Pan! Can you believe it? – Me neither! I mean, they’re coming from Sweden!! This is crazy but so lovely and I admire them for it. It’s been over two years since I saw them last but they were so sweet to me while I was in Växjö. He is a trained opera singer who teaches at Malmö University now and she is a teacher for adults. During my stay in their hometown they took me to theater rehearsals which he was directing, I got to tag along when she went to junta with her friends and I was treated to lovely dinners and fikas!
If you have no clue what a fika is, let me try to enlighten you. A fika is the best thing coming out of Sweden after IKEA and Astrid Lindgren! Not kidding. There is not a simple translation, like in one word, for it. A fika is a get-together with friends, you have coffee or tea, something simple to eat or so. It’s a meeting with friends and some food. I don’t know how to better explain it, but it’s cool, maybe just because I like the word so much. You see, it can be used as a noun and verb (amazing right?)! Oh, and it’s just so swedish :D Maybe you want a better explanation, click here.
In the same instance my mom is driving me nuts in the last couple of days. She is weaker than ever, well not ever but she hasn’t been this bad in a while. She forgets a lot of stuff, can’t keep her few appointments in order and so on. Simultaneously she tries to tell me how I have to do certain things and I’m sorry, but I refuse to be told what to do by someone who is unable to remember taking her meds three times a day. I have to keep not only my affairs in order but hers too and that is a big ugly mess.
Everything is so complicated with her, I prefer to let things come and then I’ll deal with what is right in front of me rather than going bananas way before anything even happens. You don’t have to complicate simple things, it’s ok to let them be the way they are. Clean and simple.
We don’t talk much anymore, the thing is, I don’t have much to say to her aside from asking her what she wants to eat, when her next appointment is and if she has taken her meds. I don’t want to talk about what shit they’re selling on QVC and I have no private stuff to share with her because it always comes back to haunt me (aside from there is nothing happening in my life anyways), because again she makes everything bigger than it needs to be. It’s sometimes like we don’t even speak the same language anymore. I don’t know. All I can think about is, that I want to move out and away as soon as possible but that I have no clue how to do that because it means leaving her alone and she cannot take care of herself at the moment.
Damn it, still too early to go to sleep. What do I do now? Oh, right, watch the pilot of Heroes, because, my will is weak and I’m too lazy/tired to read.