This post is all about stuff I thought about for a while but which never fitted into other posts or was to long for Twitter so here it is, the horrible mix of my confused thoughts.
On my way to the hairdresser on tuesday, I was wondering why everything (or at least so many things) is french. Ever thought about it? Here’s what I could come up with so far: French braids, french nails, french kissing and french fries. I’m unsure whether this only applies to the english language or not. Granted though, two of the four things are also french in german. I just think it’s weird. Don’t you? Where does all this frenchness come from?
Another thing on my mind is whether it’s strange to not hate yourself most of the time. Is it ok to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see as your reflection? Even fully aware of all your flaws and whatnot? I don’t know, but most days I actually like myself. Maybe I’m selfish. Which brings me to my next thought.
Tomorrow morning I leave for the weekend to travel to the south of Germany where my uncle lives with his family. My cousin will celebrate his confirmation on sunday, so originally my mom, me and gran would all travel there together but as my mom had to go to the hospital last tuesday due to thrombosis which developed into a pulmonary embolism she is unable to go with us. My mom wanted to make a small vacation out of this trip, but with her bad constitution and all it would have meant quite some work for me and not so much leisure time. Now that I am going alone with gran, I don’t even feel bad that she won’t be with us. Instead I am happier now to travel south than I was when we were all going. This makes me a very ungrateful and selfish child but I haven’t been away from my mom and her illness since last year really. The last vacation we took was in november and that was not to my pleasure because she wasn’t completely up to it, leaving me in charge of every little thing. Now, I can’t wait for it to be tomorrow morning and I can board the train. The weather is going to be hot and sunny down there, I have my new dress and I am going to enjoy myself, not having to go to the hospital in 4 days. Yes, I leave her more or less completely alone, but, my mom is not treated for a live threatening illness this time and I deserve a few days away from everything, don’t I?
Ok, I live in Germany, here the official language is German (I know, nobody would have figured that out) but why do I walk around town while my mind narrates most of my life in english? That cannot be normal. My head should talk german with me but a lot of times I know the perfect english word for something and cannot express it in german. Crazy!!!! It should be the other way around, but no-ho-hoo. It’s english. I don’t even like turning on the TV to watch my favorite shows there because they are all dubbed! I don’t want a translated joke, I want the original. Damn you, german television. Also, you never managed to bring the single greatest show of all times to my home country, The West Wing that is. Shame on you!
When I think #crazy, my head automatically switches to Britney Spears and her song from that long time ago, when she was still a star, childless and a role model for a lot of girls (not me, I always wanted to be a private investigator).
You drive me crazy
Im so excited, I’m in too deep
Ohh…crazy, but it feels alright
Baby, thinkin of you keeps me up all night
I leave you with this. I hope you enjoyed this little trip into my confused mind. If not, well, I’m sorry but I can’t help you with that. I hope you will come back to my blog though, because not every post is this creepy-weird-strange. At least I try.
Enjoy your weekends!!